it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
