I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
