my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
