Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
