Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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