i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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