so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Randomize
