It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize