two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
We are all done wearing pants today
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
