Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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