Can Purell be used as lube?
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
