you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
