Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
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