No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Dick very happy bro
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
