U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
