I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
