she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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