I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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