We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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