you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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