I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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