He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
