im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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