My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
