i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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