I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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