Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
