hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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