Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
