Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
