i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Randomize
