Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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