The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
i now understand why vodka
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
