her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
