I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
