And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
