This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Randomize
