Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Randomize
