do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
