I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
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