Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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