His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
The power of my boobs compel you
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
