): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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