fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
