I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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