we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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