in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I would ride that face into the sunset
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
