She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
