like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
