k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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