Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
